He walked into our lives as if he owned the place. Suddenly, everything was about Connor: his favorite meals, football games, and his brand-new iPhone. I was still wearing old jeans and hand-me-down hoodies while he strutted around in designer shoes.
But I didn’t complain, at least not at first. I kept thinking it was temporary. Then my dad died of a heart attack.
I was 15. I still remember that morning. Tracy screamed so loud it made my ears ring.
I ran into the hallway and saw the paramedics rolling him out, his face pale and still. Just like Mom. It felt as if the floor had cracked open again.
After that, everything fell apart fast.
Tracy became my legal guardian, and let’s just say she didn’t pretend to like me anymore. She didn’t say it directly at first, but it was obvious. She started calling me “that boy” instead of my name.
Connor became her entire world. He got a new gaming setup. I got his old shirts, some too tight, some with yellow stains or stretched collars.
I asked once if I could get a new winter jacket. Connor’s old one was ripped, and the zipper didn’t work right. Tracy stared at me and said, “Be grateful you have something to wear at all.”
I remember that night clearly.
It was freezing outside, and the wind whistled through the cracks in the basement walls. She had moved me down there, saying I was “too messy” for the guest room. I slept on a thin mattress laid out on cold concrete.
No windows, barely any heat — just darkness and damp air. I didn’t even fight it anymore. I just survived.
Connor would stomp on the floor above my head and laugh, yelling, “Rat boy’s up late again!” I’d shove earbuds in and stare at the ceiling, imagining my mom’s voice telling me to hold on. Dinner was another story. Tracy and Connor would eat together at the table with plates full of chicken, steak, or pasta.
I’d get whatever was left, usually cold, sometimes half-eaten. One time, I found a chewed-up piece of gristle in my “portion.” When I asked if I could eat with them sometime, Tracy just said, “You eat when we’re done. Be patient.”
