The holidays are often a combination of joy and stress, especially when family tensions appear. A newlywed named Nancy finds herself caught between honoring her boundaries and navigating a complicated relationship with her in-laws.
Okay, so I need advice because I’m at a complete loss. My husband, Mark, and I eloped six months ago. We knew his family wouldn’t approve, especially his mom, Susan. They’re very traditional, and Mark and I have always clashed with their expectations.
Susan was furious. She told Mark he’d “disgraced the family” and refused to speak to him for weeks. She even uninvited me from Thanksgiving! Mark didn’t even try to defend me. He just shrugged and said, “It’s just Thanksgiving, you can spend it alone. Besides, I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that.”
So, I did. I spent the holiday alone, watching cheesy Christmas movies and drowning my sorrows in hot chocolate.
Then, as I was wallowing in self-pity, my phone rang. The sobs through the speaker told me everything. It was Mark, his voice panicked, crying.
“You have to come, now! my mom is having a meltdown! She’s threatening to call off the wedding!”
“No, the big wedding! The one she’s been planning for months! The one she’s invited all our relatives to! She says it’s all off unless you’re there!”
I was furious. “Mark, we eloped because we didn’t want to do this! We don’t need her approval! And she’s already been acting like this for months! Why are you even entertaining this?”
He just kept sobbing, “She’s my mom! I can’t let her be upset! Please, just come!”
I hung up, feeling completely betrayed. My husband was putting his mother’s happiness above our own.
So, Am I wrong for refusing to go to their Christmas dinner?
I know I’m supposed to be the “bigger person” and try to make things work, but I’m so angry and hurt. I don’t know if I can ever forgive Mark for this.
Sorry, but it sounds like you married a Wimp. I really don’t think you have any obligation toward someone who has treated you so poorly (your MIL).