the beach, with one queen bed and a mysterious stain on the carpet that the reviews said might be sentient.

The sunset sail and snorkeling?

Canceled faster than a bad Netflix series. Instead, I booked them fascinating activities like “The History of Pineapple Farming: A Four-Hour Lecture Series” and “Traditional Hat Weaving: A Five-Hour Workshop with Bonus Meditation.”

Their first-class flights became economy middle seats, separated by three rows, right next to the bathrooms.

But that wasn’t all I had planned.

I also found a lawyer and filed for divorce.

By the time Wade left for the airport, I was ready to move forward with the next stage.

I packed his things into suitcases and lined them up in the hallway like soldiers of liberation. The note I left took only minutes to write, but I’d been composing it in my head for days.

Dear Wade,

In these suitcases, you’ll find all your belongings — well, at least the ones worth keeping.

I need a break, not just from our “marriage,” but from your mom’s constant meddling and your eternal cluelessness.

Feel free to unpack at her place.

I’m sure she’ll love having her little boy back full-time.

Best wishes,

Your ex-wife

Then I treated myself to some online shopping: one ticket for a luxury Mediterranean cruise. The refunds from all those canceled Maui activities more than covered it.

I was folding clothes into my suitcase, practicing my “lounging on deck” pose, when my phone exploded with Wade’s ringtone.

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” His voice cracked with fury. “It’s so selfish!

This hotel is a dump, and the flight was a nightmare!”

“Oh, I thought you’d love it!

A nice quiet room, some quality mother-son bonding over hat weaving… But wait until you see the surprise I arranged for when you get back.”

“What surprise? Lisa?

LISA!”

I hung up, smiling like the cat who not only got the cream but also started a successful dairy company. The divorce papers were scheduled for delivery to Carol’s house the day they returned.

By then, I’d be somewhere off the Italian coast, eating authentic pasta and sipping champagne.

A few months have passed since all of this happened.

The divorce was finalized smoothly and these days, I’m happily single and planning my next adventure to Disney World with the kids.

Wade is still living with his mommy, and from the sounds of things, has no plans to move out anytime soon.

The kids visit him every second weekend, and I make sure to smile and wave whenever I see Carol.

Once, I even got to ask if she enjoyed her hat-weaving workshop.

Sometimes the best vacations are the ones you take by yourself — especially when they lead you exactly where you need to be.

And sometimes, the sweetest revenge isn’t served cold: it’s a pineapple farming lecture with a side of hat weaving.

🤔🤔🤔

Source: amomama