She pointed at the messages, but Michael quickly deleted them, saying, “You must have misunderstood. You need to stop being so insecure.”
Sarah started questioning herself.
Had she really misunderstood? Was she being too suspicious? Over time, she felt like she couldn’t trust her own judgment.
What Sarah didn’t realize was that Michael was gaslighting her, making her question reality so he could continue his behavior unchecked.
How to Recognize It:
3. Isolation: Cutting You Off From Support
Controlling partners often try to isolate you from friends and family so that you become more dependent on them. They may do this subtly at first—by making negative comments about your loved ones or by creating drama that makes you pull away from them.
Story: Jake and Olivia
Olivia had a tight-knit group of friends before she met Jake.
At first, Jake would joke, “Your friends are kind of childish, don’t you think?” Over time, his remarks became more critical.
When Olivia made plans with her friends, Jake would sigh and say, “I just wanted to spend time with you, but I guess your friends are more important.” Feeling guilty, Olivia started seeing them less.
Months later, she realized she had drifted away from her support system. She felt lonely and dependent on Jake for emotional validation. The isolation had happened so gradually that she hadn’t even noticed.
How to Recognize It:
Breaking Free: What You Can Do
1.
Trust Your Gut
If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Controlling partners rely on making you doubt yourself, so trust your instincts.
2. Reconnect With Your Support System
Reach out to friends and family.
Even if you’ve lost touch, the people who truly care about you will be there to support you.
3. Set Boundaries
A controlling partner will push against your boundaries, but setting and enforcing them is crucial. Start small and stand firm.
4.
Seek Professional Help
Therapists and support groups can provide guidance on how to navigate an unhealthy relationship and rebuild your confidence.
5. Consider Leaving
If the relationship is emotionally damaging and your partner refuses to change, leaving may be the healthiest option. You deserve to be with someone who respects and values you.
Final Thoughts
Controlling behaviors don’t always appear overnight.
They can creep into a relationship subtly, making them difficult to recognize.
But understanding these tactics—blame-shifting, gaslighting, isolation, and disguised control—can help you see them for what they are: manipulation.
If you find yourself in a relationship where you feel invalidated, isolated, or controlled, remember that you are not alone.
There is help available, and you have the strength to reclaim your sense of self.
