Eight years ago, I was in a deeply abusive marriage. I did everything I was told would help—be soft, pray, manage your emotions, keep quiet, show him you’re a good woman, don’t complain… I did all of it. I bent over backward. I didn’t have boundaries; they were foreign to me. I was desperate to belong, to be loved, to be accepted, so I stayed and endured his abuse, loving him even while he hurt me.
Then, three weeks after I’d had our baby, he forced himself on me. I still had postpartum bleeding, and he pretended to be drunk, acting as if he wouldn’t remember. But I knew he did—I saw the look in his eye as I winced in pain. I felt so ashamed that I couldn’t even tell my caregiver. Eventually, I had to see a doctor because I developed an infection.
I confided in the doctor, who was kind and compassionate. She was furious when she heard my story and insisted I file a police report. Then she looked me in the eye and said, “Take your son and run; that man could seriously harm you one day.”
The police, however, believed his excuses. Maybe he paid them off, or maybe it was the usual story that I didn’t matter enough, so nothing came of it. He was back home the next morning. That same afternoon, I packed my son up and left.
I went home to my father. He took me in without a single question. He hadn’t been much of a father during my childhood, but now, he was trying. He’d apologized many times and asked for my forgiveness. When I needed a safe place, he and his wife welcomed me.
My mother, however, and the man she married, who raised me, took my ex’s side. They believed his manipulation—or maybe they didn’t need much convincing. My mother would choose anyone over me if given the choice. When he remarried two years later, she even attended their lavish wedding. I heard he’d send her a Christmas package every year and once took his new wife and their baby to visit her.
I was the target of countless lies. People called me an adulteress, a thief, and ungrateful. His new wife became the spokesperson for spreading those lies. And many times, when I reached out to discuss matters related to our child, she found ways to stir up drama. I could have made better choices after the divorce, too; I fell for someone who only used me, leaving me a single mother for the second time.
It’s been hard—oh, it’s been a long, painful road. But I’ve finally learned some valuable lessons and developed a little self-love. My sons and I are thriving now, thanks to the unwavering support of my father and stepmother. We still live in my father’s house, but that’s by choice—I enjoy being around supportive people. And my sons benefit from my father’s positive presence as a male role model. I have a decent job and a good side hustle.
Then, eight years after leaving my marriage and six years of being vilified by my ex’s “perfect” new wife, something unexpected happened. His mother and brother showed up at my door. They needed my help. His wife was in the hospital with serious injuries, missing teeth, and a broken rib. He’d beaten her badly, they said, all because she dared to speak up and challenge him.
And as always, he’d crafted a story making himself the victim. They said he even had “compelling evidence” to support his version. And they thought my testimony in court would help her case. “Justice for you too,” they said. But I’m here minding my business and raising my boys. I have no interest in revenge when I’ve finally found peace. I won’t be testifying for anything. She signed up for this, and now it’s her burden to bear. Leave me alone!
For any woman out there working to rebuild herself, know this: there is light at the end of the tunnel. Piece by piece, you will put yourself back together. And if you’re in a relationship with a man who mistreats you, don’t wait for a miracle. The miracle is in the strength and courage God gave you. Start walking away before it’s too late.
