myself in tangible ways. For example my mother-in-law and my mother both had been subtly egging me on to conceive and I had been entertaining it.

With all the drama unfolding in my marriage, I made the decision that having a child was not a wise decision at the moment, so I told both mothers I was not ready and to back off. I stopped saying yes to everything Frank wanted and insisted he take care of me too.

I communicated my boundaries to my husband and let it be known that I will not be disrespected.

One of the biggest and most difficult things I had to do though, was to forgive him.

He asked me to forgive, and I did. And if I am being honest, I know he came back to me and put effort into repairing us because his ex flatly rejected him when he tried to go back.

Does that knowledge hurt? Yes it does hurt like hell!

But I love Frank, and love is patient and kind, love forgives, it hopes, it perseveres.

Love does not fail.

The last time this whole saga came up again at couple’s counseling, Frank said his idea of love had been fireworks, toe-curling intercourse and having to be on his toes all the time. To him if love didn’t induce anxiety, it was boring.

But has learned that love can be peaceful, it can be even-tempered, agreeable, slow paced and drama free. We now hold hands in public, my husband and I.

I have fallen in love with him again after the heartbreak.

He is not bored anymore.

His actions and words tell me he loves me. I do love that man, I loved him when I said I do and love him today.

I know marriages aren’t smooth sailing, but I am confident we will make it through the long haul. I am Gene.

Good girl turned good woman turned good wife.

I learned humility before I learned confidence, and I am grateful for that order.