I’ve been married for 8 years and have done everything I can to be a good father to my wife’s children from her previous relationship. Financially, it’s a huge burden, but I do it willingly. I’ve treated every child as my own, but the biggest pain for me is how my wife treats my son. She often seems to ignore him, acting as if he’s invisible. The breaking point came during her daughter’s birthday when I asked my son to join in for a family photo, but she stopped him and said, “Get out of the picture, I want one with just my kids.” …What happened next? Read the rest in the first comment… 👇👇
I’m really struggling here and starting to feel like I’m losing my mind. I think I’m being gaslit, so what better place to get some clarity than Reddit? Here’s the situation.
I’ve been married to my wife for 8 years, and on the whole, we have a good relationship.
She has four kids (two daughters, two sons, ages 11-16) from a previous relationship, and I have one son, who’s 10.
Since day one, I’ve treated her kids as my own and done my best to support the family.
Financially, it’s a big load, but I’m happy to do it. We live together in a five-bedroom house, where each of her daughters has their own room, her oldest son has his own, and her youngest son shares a room with my son.
The main issue—and what’s tearing me apart—is how she treats my son. She barely acknowledges him, rarely asks how he’s doing, and generally acts like he’s invisible. Tonight, it hit a breaking point. We were celebrating her daughter’s 11th birthday, and everyone was gathered to sing and take pictures.
I told my son to get in with the group for a picture, which seemed fine. But then, right after the group photo, my wife looked at my son and told him, “Get out of the picture, move to the side—I want one with just my kids.”
I felt like my heart shattered in that moment. I completely lost it. I told her that we’re supposed to be a blended family and that my son deserves to be treated like one of her own.
I feel like she’s drawing lines between “her” kids and “my” son, and it just doesn’t sit right with me.
For context, my son’s biological mom passed away two years ago, supposedly from Covid complications, though she had a history of drug problems that may have worsened things. My son only has my wife now as a mother figure. I’m terrified that this rejection from her is going to hurt him deeply and cause psychological damage.
Am I asking too much for her to treat him like part of the family? I don’t want to be overreacting, but the way she flat-out ignores him is painful to witness. AITA for expecting her to step up and include him?
