Am I in the wrong for refusing to continue offering free childcare for my stepdaughter?

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All I ask is a few minutes of your time to hear my ordeal. Months after providing free childcare for my stepdaughter, I made a choice to refuse when things went too far. Now I need you to tell me — was I really wrong for not giving in to her bizarre demands and refusing to babysit her child?

Retirement was supposed to be my time to relax, travel, and maybe take up gardening. Instead, I became “Grandma Daycare,” a title I wore proudly. I’d retired when my first grandchild was born, and over the years, I’d babysat all five of my grandchildren, both from my kids and stepkids.

“Grandma, tell us the story about the dancing bear again!” little Tommy would beg, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “No, the princess one!” Lily would counter, climbing onto my lap. Those moments made my heart swell.

Their laughter was worth every second of exhaustion, even on the hardest days. It wasn’t always easy, but I loved it. Whether it was finger painting, bedtime stories, or comforting a feverish toddler, I poured my heart and soul into caring for them.

My days were busy but fulfilling. “You’re a miracle worker,” my son James once said, watching me juggle three kids while baking cookies. “I don’t know how you do it.”
“Love,” I replied simply.

“Love makes everything possible, dear.”

Alice, my stepdaughter, was the last one to have a baby. Her daughter, Ellie, was born when my schedule was already full. I watched my 18-month-old grandson Monday through Friday and handled the older kids during summer breaks.

I wasn’t sure I could take on another child, but I was open to helping where I could. Unfortunately, Alice and her boyfriend, Sam, made that almost impossible. Alice and Sam had always been a bit high-maintenance, but I wasn’t prepared for the three-page list they handed me when Alice was just ten weeks pregnant.

“We’ve put together some rules,” Alice said, her voice overly casual. “If you’re going to babysit my baby, you’ll need to agree to these.”
I skimmed the list, and my jaw nearly hit the floor. “I can’t cook?

I can’t have more than one other grandchild over? And what’s this about my cat? Muffin has to stay out of the baby’s rooms, even when your baby’s not here?” I looked at them incredulously.

“This is… a lot.”

Sam folded his arms. “It’s for our baby’s safety.”
“Safety?” My voice rose. “I raised three children, helped raise two stepchildren, and have been caring for four grandchildren without a single incident.

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