What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claustrophobia! What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days! Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow! What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet! What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!
Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks! What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker! What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”? Santa walking backwards!
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose! Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ‘ho ho ho’! What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can’t beat it!
What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps! What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
“It’s Christmas, Eve!”
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite! What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me and we’ll go places! Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!
Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care! How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger! Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered!
How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed! What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
Cross-mouse cards! What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing you! What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?
Twerky! What does Santa do with out of shape elves? Sends them to an elf Farm.
Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had a low “elf” esteem! Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy! How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle!
What do snowmen have for breakfast? Snowflakes! What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the sack! What did Santa say to the smoker? Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsilitis! What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
The story doesn’t end here –
it continues on the next page.
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