My 25-year-old daughter still lives with me and just stays in her room watching Netflix without finding a job. I don’t want to put her out on the street, but I’m tired of her living with me at this age. How can I encourage her to get a job?

My cousin (now 62) shared an interesting story last year. It was about when he finished college and moved back home. He was the second son, and my aunt and uncle had a similar approach with all their kids.

When an adult son returned home, he moved into a basement room they had set up. It was small, without any “facilities,” etc., acting as a subtle discouragement to stay long-term.

My cousin explained that when he finished college and moved back to the basement, he started working at a bank. His dad (my uncle) then had a conversation with him. He brought out a legal pad, wrote down a series of numbers, totaled them, and said, “This is how much it costs to run the household each month.” He divided the amount by four, gave him the figure, and said, “This is your share of the monthly expenses.”

Forty years later, my cousin reflects, “This was the best thing he could have done for me. I moved out two weeks later!” (which I suspect was his dad’s plan all along). My cousin didn’t enjoy working at the bank, so he started his own company, grew it, and is now semi-retired.

I didn’t need to do this with my sons. They were both motivated to finish college and pursue the next steps in life. But my wife and I did tell them that once they moved out, we’d sell the house and downsize to a smaller condo. One without a basement. 🙂

**EDIT: Hey, some of you are replying to my response as if it’s the original question.

There are some great answers in those replies, but they get buried under this post, so fewer people see them!

It’s really easy to answer the original question — DO NOT REPLY here, just click on the original question and use the answer field. Trust me, it’s more effective!**

### Summary:

When my 25-year-old daughter refused to find a job and just stayed in her room watching Netflix, I felt torn. I didn’t want to push her out but also couldn’t continue like this. I remembered what my cousin told me: After college, his dad handed him a share of household expenses, a bold move that changed everything. It only took two weeks before… (continue reading in the first comment 👇👇).