Navigating family relations is more difficult when third parties are involved, especially during major life events.
The introduction of new family members, such as a potential daughter-in-law, can elicit strong emotions and tension, putting familial connections to the test.
Hi Bright Side, Tom is my only son and the youngest in a family with 4 daughters.
He’s a charming young man, but I must admit he’s also a bit spoiled and irresponsible, accustomed to having things go his way.
Tom is the last of his siblings to marry. My son’s fiancée, Paola, has happily organized the entire wedding with her mother-something I’ve already done 4 times with my 4 daughters.
A week before the bed day, outor, nowhere did my sisters’ wedding gowns cost you?” I replied, “Around $10,000 each.”
“Well then,” he said, “my fiancée says that now that it’s my turn to get married, you should give me what you gave my sisters for their weddings in order to be a fair parent.” ”What are you saying?” I gasped.
“I should receive the equivalent of what was spent on my sisters’ wedding gowns in cash,” he explained. “But you already have your tuxedo rented and ready!
You even went with your father to select it!” I exclaimed, astonished “I am renting the tuxedo, but I feel entitled to that money,” Tom said coldly.
“I’m your child too! I have rights!” “Rights?!” | exclaimed, feeling my anger rise. “Yes!” he shot back. “You didn’t hesitate to pay for 4 wedding receptions, so why are you being so tightfisted about a mere $10,000, which you can easily afford?” Well, I may be able to afford it, but I don’t think what he says makes any sense.
I also know that this is his fiancée’s idea, and she’s manipulating my son to turn him against me for financial gain. Therefore, I categorically refused to give him the money.Tom yelled with rage, “I knew it!
You’ve never loved me like my sisters, and now you’re revealing your true colors! And you know what?” he added, “I don’t want you at my wedding! Just stay away!” I thought he was joking, but he seems to be completely serious.
The wedding is in 2 days, and he still hasn’t changed his mind. What am I supposed to do? He’s my only son, and I don’t want to miss his wedding.
Should I give in to my future daughter-in-law’s demand and pay them the $10,000, even though I believe it’s unreasonable? Your prompt guidance is greatly appreciated at this time.
Sincerely, PamelaHere are some advice From Bright Side page.. Listen to his point of view without passing judgment, but also explain your own emotions and reasons for your decision.
Validate his feelings while gently correcting any misconceptions or manipulative influences.
Reaffirm your affection for him and your willingness to help him, but highlight the significance of mutual respect and responsible behavior.
Maintaining limits is essential, especially when it comes to family finances.
Your son’s desire for $10,000 for his wedding dress is unrealistic and the result of outside influence.
By firmly declining this demand, you are not only safeguarding your own financial security, but also teaching your youngster about responsibility and fair expectations.
Express your love and support for him while expressing your decision in a calm and sensible manner. Emphasize that your refusal is not a reflection of your love for him, but rather a question of principle and financial considerations.
This is step one he will continue to ask forever with his wife’s pushing for it
He deserves it just like the sisters and I would not start out by talking about the DIL because it could harm your relationship with your son forever.
Really ridiculous two days before the wedding. The tradition is that the brides family pays for her dress etc. The mom has already footed the bill for 4 weddings and receptions. It would be another matter if he had talked to his Mom in a reasonable timeframe well before the wedding, but he didn’t ! No matter how well we try to eaise our kids, they can come up with some strange ideas !