It hung there in the closetWhile she was dying, Mother’s red dress,Like a gash in the rowOf dark, old clothesShe had worn away her life in.They had called me homeAnd I know when I saw herShe wasn’t going to last.When I saw the dress, I said”Why, Mother–how beautiful!I’ve never seen it on you.””I’ve never worn it,” she slowly said.”Sit down, Millie– I’d like to undoA lesson or two before I go, if I can.”I sat by her bedAnd she sighed a bigger breathThan I thought she could hold.”Now that I’ll soon be gone,I can see some things.Oh, I taught you good–but I taught you wrong.””What do you mean, Mother?””Well– I always thoughtThat a good woman never takes her turn,That she’s just for doing for somebody elseDo here, do there, always keepEverybody else’s wants tended and make sureYours are at the bottom of the heap.”Maybe someday your’ll get to them.But of  course you never do.My life was like that– doing for your dad,Doing for the boys, for your sisters,for you.””You did– everything a mother could.””Oh, Millie, Millie, it was no good–For you–for him. Don’t you see?I did you the worst of wrongs.I asked for nothing–for me!”Your father in the other room,All stirred up and starring at the walls–When the doctor told him, he tookIt bad–came to my bed and all but shookThe life right out of me. You can’t die,Do you hear? What’ll become of me?””What’ll be become of me?”It’ll be hard, all right,when I go.He can’t even find the frying pan, you know.”And you children–I was a free ride for everyone, everything.I was the first one up and the last one downSeven days out of the week.I always took the toast that got burned.And the very smallest piece of pie.”I look at how some of your brothersTreat their wives nowAnd it makes me sick, ’cause it was meThat taught it to them. And they learned.They learned that a woman doesn’tEven exist except to give.Why, every single penny that I could saveWent for your clothes, or your books,Even when it wasn’t necessary.Can’t even remember once when I tookMyself downtown to buy something beautiful–For me.”Except last year when I got that red dress.I found I had twenty dollarsThat wasn’t especially spoke for.I was on my way to pay it extra  the washer.But somehow– I came home with this big box.Your father really gave it to me then.‘Where you going to wear a thing like thar to–Some opera or something?’I’ve never, except in the store,Put on tha dress.”Oh Millie– I always thought if you takeNothing for youeself in this worldYou’d have it all in the next somehowI don’t believe that anymore.I thnk the Lord wants us to have something–Here–and now.”And I’m telling you, Millie, if some miracleCould get me off this bed, you could lookFor a different mother, ’cause I would  one.Oh, I passed up my turn so long agoI would hardly know to take it.But Id learn, Millie.I would learn!”It hung there in the closetWhere she was dying, Mother’s red dress,Like a gash in the rowOf dark, old clothesShe had worn away her life in.Her last words to me were these:”Do me the honor, Millie,Of not following in my footsteps.Promise me that.”I promised.She caught her breathThen Mother took her turnIn death.~ Carol Lynn Pearson ~