Looking for the Ultimate Weekend Mood-Lifter?
These six jokes will leave you in splits! With surprises lurking in every punchline, this collection is a reminder that laughter really is the best medicine… especially when it’s this funny.
Who needs therapy when you have jokes like these? This collection is a five-course meal of laughter, with each joke serving a double dose of chaos and absurdity. We’ve got grandmas crying over perfect husbands, siblings trying too hard to impress Mom, and a blonde outsmarting a genius so hard he’s still recovering.
These jokes will tickle your funny bone harder than a feather in a comedy club. Get ready to laugh like no one’s watching… because they probably are, and they’re wondering why you’re in tears!
1. A Grandma’s Perfect Husband… and a Big Problem
Ever come across someone whose life seems straight out of a fairy tale, only to realize reality had the last laugh?
One breezy morning, I decided to take a walk through the park. The usual park sights greeted me — families picnicking, kids chasing each other, and joggers sweating through their morning routines. Then I spotted something unusual: a frail old lady, sitting all alone on a bench, weeping quietly into her hands.
“Excuse me, ma’am,” I said cautiously, “are you alright? Is there something I can do for you?”
She looked up at me with watery eyes and said, “Oh, young man, I have the best life anyone could ever ask for.”
This was not the answer I’d expected. Curious, I took a seat next to her. “That sounds wonderful,” I said gently. “What’s making you so upset?”
With a wistful sigh, she began her story. “I’m married to a 22-year-old man who treats me like a queen. Every morning, he brings me breakfast in bed — fresh waffles, syrup, and a latte just the way I like it. He massages my feet afterward to start my day right.”
“Wow,” I said, nodding, “that sounds amazing.”
“Oh, but there’s more,” she continued. “He cooks me a gourmet lunch every afternoon, serenades me with his guitar while I relax in the garden, and spoils me with candlelit dinners. He even writes poetry just for me!”
I was thoroughly impressed. “He plays the guitar for you? How romantic! That sounds like a dream. But why are you crying?”
She sniffled loudly, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Because… I can’t remember where I live!”
2. Sibling Rivalry: Out-Gifting Mom
Siblings love to show off, especially when it comes to pleasing their parents. But this time, their mother had the last laugh.
Gerard, Howard, and Norman were three successful brothers who wanted to outshine each other with the most impressive gift for their mother’s 90th birthday. They gathered at dinner to boast about their presents.
Gerard: “I built a sprawling mansion for Mom with ten bedrooms, a library, and even an indoor pool.”
Howard: “That’s cute. I sent her a Tesla with a personal chauffeur who’s always on call.”
Norman: “Amateurs. I sent Mom a brown parrot trained for twelve years by monks. It knows the entire Bible.”
A week later, their mother sent thank-you notes:
“Gerard, the house is lovely, but it’s far too big. I only use one room!”
“Howard, the car is beautiful, but the driver has a worse temper than your father!”
“Dearest Norman, you’re the only one who truly understands me. The roast chicken was delicious. But it was pretty small.”
Norman realized his “biblical” bird had become dinner.
3. A Late-Night Request for Help
One freezing night, my husband and I were jolted awake by loud pounding on the door. A man stood on our porch, shivering.
“Excuse me,” he said, “can you give me a push?”
“Are you serious? It’s three in the morning!” my husband grumbled.
“Who was it?” I asked sleepily.
“Some guy wanting a push!”
I reminded him about when strangers helped us push our car. Reluctantly, he stepped outside.
“Hey, where are you?” he called out.
“Over here,” the voice replied.
“Where exactly?”
“On the swing set!”
4. The Divorcee’s Speeding Excuse
A newly divorced woman decided to buy a Corvette to celebrate her independence. She hit 100 mph when flashing lights appeared behind her.
“Ma’am,” the officer sighed, “if you can give me an excuse I’ve never heard, I’ll let you go.”
She smirked. “Last week, my husband ran off with a cop. I thought you were trying to bring him back!”
The officer burst out laughing. “Alright, ma’am. Have a nice day.”
5. The Hotel Bill Hack
After a short stay, a man received a $350 hotel bill.
“This is too much!” he protested. “We barely used anything!”
“The fee includes access to the Olympic pool and spa,” the receptionist replied.
“But we didn’t use them!”
“Yes, but they were available to you.”
The man handed over a check for $50.
“Sir, this is short $300!”
“I’m charging you $300 for sleeping with my wife,” he said.
“But I didn’t!”
“Well, she was available!”
6. The Blonde Outwits a Genius
A Harvard graduate tried to outsmart a blonde on a flight.
“Let’s play a game. If you don’t know an answer, you pay me $5. If I don’t know, I pay you $500.”
He asked, “What’s the exact distance between Earth and Mars?”
She handed him $5.
Her turn. “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”
He searched for an answer but gave up, handing her $500.
“So, what’s the answer?” he asked.
She smiled, handed him $5, and said, “I have no idea.”
Final Thought
And there you have it: proof that life’s biggest laughs come from the most unexpected places. If you’re grinning ear to ear, you’ve officially joined the “Laugh Till It Hurts” club.
Source: amomama
