She sniffled loudly, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Because… I can’t remember where I live!”
2. Sibling Rivalry: Out-Gifting Mom
Siblings love to show off, especially when it comes to pleasing their parents. But this time, their mother had the last laugh.
Gerard, Howard, and Norman were three successful brothers who wanted to outshine each other with the most impressive gift for their mother’s 90th birthday. They gathered at dinner to boast about their presents.
Gerard: “I built a sprawling mansion for Mom with ten bedrooms, a library, and even an indoor pool.”
Howard: “That’s cute. I sent her a Tesla with a personal chauffeur who’s always on call.”
Norman: “Amateurs. I sent Mom a brown parrot trained for twelve years by monks. It knows the entire Bible.”
A week later, their mother sent thank-you notes:
“Gerard, the house is lovely, but it’s far too big. I only use one room!”
“Howard, the car is beautiful, but the driver has a worse temper than your father!”
“Dearest Norman, you’re the only one who truly understands me. The roast chicken was delicious. But it was pretty small.”
Norman realized his “biblical” bird had become dinner.
3. A Late-Night Request for Help
One freezing night, my husband and I were jolted awake by loud pounding on the door. A man stood on our porch, shivering.
“Excuse me,” he said, “can you give me a push?”
“Are you serious? It’s three in the morning!” my husband grumbled.
“Who was it?” I asked sleepily.
“Some guy wanting a push!”
I reminded him about when strangers helped us push our car. Reluctantly, he stepped outside.
“Hey, where are you?” he called out.
“Over here,” the voice replied.
“Where exactly?”
“On the swing set!”
4. The Divorcee’s Speeding Excuse
A newly divorced woman decided to buy a Corvette to celebrate her independence. She hit 100 mph when flashing lights appeared behind her.
“Ma’am,” the officer sighed, “if you can give me an excuse I’ve never heard, I’ll let you go.”
She smirked. “Last week, my husband ran off with a cop. I thought you were trying to bring him back!”
The officer burst out laughing. “Alright, ma’am. Have a nice day.”
5. The Hotel Bill Hack
After a short stay, a man received a $350 hotel bill.
“This is too much!” he protested. “We barely used anything!”
“The fee includes access to the Olympic pool and spa,” the receptionist replied.
“But we didn’t use them!”
“Yes, but they were available to you.”
The man handed over a check for $50.
“Sir, this is short $300!”
“I’m charging you $300 for sleeping with my wife,” he said.
“But I didn’t!”
“Well, she was available!”
6. The Blonde Outwits a Genius
A Harvard graduate tried to outsmart a blonde on a flight.
“Let’s play a game. If you don’t know an answer, you pay me $5. If I don’t know, I pay you $500.”
He asked, “What’s the exact distance between Earth and Mars?”
She handed him $5.
Her turn. “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”
He searched for an answer but gave up, handing her $500.
“So, what’s the answer?” he asked.
She smiled, handed him $5, and said, “I have no idea.”
Final Thought
And there you have it: proof that life’s biggest laughs come from the most unexpected places. If you’re grinning ear to ear, you’ve officially joined the “Laugh Till It Hurts” club.
Source: amomama
