My sister and I have always shared everything—dreams, secrets, even heartbreaks.

But nothing could have prepared me for the call I got last week: she’s engaged to my ex, the person I shared nearly three years of my life with. We broke up two years ago, not on bad terms, but hearing that they’re now planning a future together felt like a punch to the gut.

When she invited me to their engagement party, I couldn’t bring myself to say yes.

Now, my family is calling me ‘petty,’ insisting I should celebrate with her and ‘be the bigger person.’ But the idea of standing there, pretending it doesn’t hurt…(continue below)

Am I wrong for refusing to attend my sister’s engagement party because she’s getting married to my ex?

I (22F) recently found out that my older sister (26F) is getting married to my ex-boyfriend (24M), and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.

My sister and I have always been close, but this feels like a total betrayal. My ex and I broke up about two years ago, and while we didn’t end on bad terms, we were together for almost three years.

I didn’t even know they were dating until she called me last week to tell me they were engaged and to invite me to the engagement party.

I was completely blindsided and told her I wasn’t comfortable attending. Now, my family is telling me I’m being petty and that I should be happy for her, but I just feel so weird about the whole situation.

It’s not like I’m still in love with him, but seeing them together is definitely going to stir up old feelings, and I’m not sure I can handle it.

My sister says she understands, but I can tell she’s hurt that I’m refusing to be part of this big moment in her life. My mom is making me feel like the bad guy for not “being the bigger person.” I just don’t know if I can fake being okay with it right now.

Am I wrong for refusing to go to her engagement party?