Six years into my marriage, my husband found the “woman of his dreams,”…and she was not me

Six years into my marriage, my husband found the “woman of his dreams,” those were his words, and she was not me.

We had 3 children then, two by me and another from his University days.

I claimed all the children and loved them as mine. When I found out about the other woman, I did everything I could to get him to stop destroying our family.

I was livid, I argued, I cried, I begged. I listened to counselors and who practically told me I was responsible for my husband’s actions.

I finally began to accept reality that she was with him, he wanted her, and I had to share him. You see the danger of accepting bad behavior and disrespect from people is that, they begin to feel entitled to disrespecting you.

So once I accepted his infidelity, he gave me other things to accept. He became distant and put his concubine over me again and again.

For two years I lived the miserable life of a broken wife. It took my then 17 year old daughter(my husband’s first child) who held my hand before leaving for University and said, “You know if you’re not marrried you won’t die?

You don’t even smile anymore,” to bring me back to myself. It was hard but I left the marriage.

One thing about my ex-husband is that he’ll always take care of his children financially. I was awarded our matrimonial home without contest and one of our businesses became mine too.

It’s been almost a decade since concubine became wife. I have moved on, not remarried but still thriving.

I have moved up at my job to top management and my business is thriving. My two oldest are out of the house, my last born is 16 and preparing to leave the nest in a couple of years.

My daughters brought to my attention this past year that their father is in ‘love’ again. And not with his wife.

It’s a much younger woman in our neighborhood. Apparently he tells his wife he’s coming over to spend time overnight with our last born, and instead he spends a few hours with his child and goes to his side chick.

My daughters were embarrassed by his behavior and wanted me to talk to him about it. His concubine cannot be more than 3 years older than our firstborn.


But I told them there is nothing to be embarrassed about; their father’s wife is aware of his penchance for straying from his marriage and approves of it. Yesterday, I mean on Sunday, August 18 the woman who brazenly stayed and helped my ex destroy our marriage was in my living room bitterly complaining about how my daughters knew about their father using his time with them to cheat on her and never told her.

So I told her not to blame them, they told me and I advised they mind their business because cheating was okay with their father and his wife. I am not one to laugh as other’s misfortune but let me tell you, sometimes the Lord’s judgement finds us while we’re yet alive.

Check mate!

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