After her daughter embarked on a weight loss journey and became more confident in her skin, she began bullying another girl bigger than her, leaving a mother to make a difficult decision.
A Reddit user wanted the input of others on the platform to ask if she had been too harsh in how she chose to punish her daughter after the young girl, Abby, treated a friend who had a similar problem to Abby.
The original poster (OP) explained that she and her daughter’s father had split after he left before Abby was born.
Five years later, he returned to their lives and wanted to take responsibility for his daughter.
The court gave Abby’s father 50% custody, and he covered 60% of Abby’s financial needs.
He also felt guilty for not being around for the formative years of her life, so he spoiled her.
The OP believed being spoiled by her father led to Abby’s pre-teen weight gain, which is a big reason for her post.
What Happened with Abby and Her Mother?
A year before the post, when Abby was 17, she had begun a weight loss journey.
Although her mother believed everybody was beautiful, she supported her daughter and incentivized the process.
For each milestone Abby reached in her journey, the OP would give her a small gift.
However, a few months before her eighteenth birthday, Abby asked her mother to stop giving her small gifts for each milestone and save them for her birthday. The OP readily agreed.
Abby asked that instead of all the small gifts, her mother would pay for a vacation for her and her friends to celebrate her birthday.
The OP assured Abby that this would be all right. However, it soon became apparent that the vacation needed to be fixed.
What Happened to Abby’s Birthday Vacation?
As the OP prepared for her daughter’s vacation, she phoned the parents of the two other girls who were meant to go with her daughter.
On one of these phone calls, the OP discovered Abby’s best friend, Betty, would no longer be joining the other two girls on the vacation.
The OP knew that Betty loved traveling and had been looking forward to the vacation. Confused, the OP asked why Betty would not be able to attend. It was then that the OP found out what her daughter had done.
Betty divulged that Abby had uninvited her from the vacation because she said of her friend, “She is too chubby to look good in pictures.” When the OP confronted her daughter, Abby explained:
“I didn’t work this hard for this vacation, so my pictures will be ruined.”
The OP was horrified and reminded her daughter how she would have felt if someone had left her out of a big event because of her weight.
The OP then told Abby she was to apologize to Betty.
After telling her daughter she had to apologize to her friend for body shaming and reminding her how terrible it had made her feel only a year before when people had done the same to her, the OP threatened to cancel her daughter’s birthday getaway.
The OP clarified that although she was happy that her daughter was now confident in her skin, it was no reason to put others down for their appearance.
However, Abby was upset at her mother’s reaction and stormed off to her father.
Later, the OP got a call from Abby’s father telling her that she couldn’t make decisions for her daughter and couldn’t use Abby’s behavior as an excuse to cancel her birthday celebration trip.
Abby’s father also said he had paid an extra 10% for Abby, so he demanded the OP didn’t cancel the vacation.
The OP told Abby’s father he was enabling her bullying and ended the phone call.
The OP then spoke to Abby again, saying she didn’t have to invite Betty on the trip, but she had to apologize for bullying and body shaming her even if she didn’t go with her on vacation.
However, Abby tried to convince Betty to speak to the OP and tell her she had decided not to go on the trip because she wasn’t feeling well. Betty told Abby she wouldn’t do that, which led to Abby sending more hateful messages to Betty.
Betty sent screenshots of the horrible messages to the OP, who immediately canceled the vacation. Abby’s father tried to rebook the holiday, but other people had already filled their spot, and there was no place for them at the destination.
The OP said Abby and her father thought she was wrong for canceling the vacation, but most of the OP’s friends agreed with her approach. She turned to Reddit users to ask their opinions on her predicament. Many agreed with the OP.
The post also reached Facebook, where even more people commented on the situation. One said although it was a difficult decision, she had done the right thing. Another said Abby’s father seemed like a bad influence and continued:
“Let the daughter sulk — sooner or later, she’ll realize who her real parent is, i.e., the one who actually cares about what she does.”
Many commenters said they would be ashamed if their children had acted similarly and were proud of the OP for how she had handled the situation. Another suggested family counseling for Abby, her mother, and her father. Others believed Betty deserved a “real friend.”
